I realize that Peter Parker is still in his 20's (maybe even his early 20's), but Spider-Man made his first appearance in Amazing Fantasy #15 (Aug. 1962), and the first issue of The Amazing Spider-Man was published in March of 1963. Technically, he was born before me! (And my first daughter is about to turn 24 which makes her about the same age as Spider-Man.)
Naturally, comic book time passes at a different rate than real-time, or at least a different rate than time in our universe. However, we know Peter Parker was 15 when he became Spider-man, and if we assume he's 25 now (I'm guessing) then we see that Spider-Man's career only spans about 10 years. Now think on that for a moment. TEN years...
In ten years Spider-man has (and this is only from my somewhat troubled memory) :
- Fought at least 114 villains (Most of them he has fought multiple times)
- Fought in 3 secret wars (Beyonder 1 and 2, Nick Fury)
- Fought on both sides of a civil war
- Helped fight off an alien invasion of earth
- Helped overthrow the Osborn dynasty
- Been a member of two Avenger teams
- Teamed up with more super heroes than anyone except maybe Wolverine whose real power is to know everyone in the marvel universe.
- Been cloned I don't know how many times
- Mutated to a state in which he had six arms
- Turned into a giant spider
- Had a symbiont for a uniform
- Had a symbiont for an enemy
- Had a symbiont's offspring for an enemy
- Had the ability to shoot webs from his body
- Lost the ability to shoot webs from his body
- Been framed for murder
- Been dead (although I'm still fuzzy on this one)
- Been buried alive, bathed in acid, shot, had an eye eaten (Morlun),
- Saved a gagillion lives (give or take)
- Graduated from high school
- Graduated from college (Chemistry? COME ON!!! Even ' I ' have a degree in chemistry, Spider-Man can do better than that!)
- Attended graduate school for a while
- Suffered the death of a girl friend (which he unfortunately had a hand in. That sucks beyond description.)
- Been Married
- Almost became a father (M.J. was pregnant at the time of that horrid...you know...)
- Had his marriage erased (in that horrid...you know...)
- Suffered the loss of friends and loved ones that actually did NOT come back to life (contrary to the Marvel norm.)
- Witnessed the marriage of his Aunt to the father of his arch enemy (yes, the father of J. Jonah Jameson)
- Suffered the conversion of his Aunt May Parker into ANTI-May Parker (Clever pun intended.)
- Please note I was classy enough not to mention his having sex with The Black-Cat which I can't help but feel bears mentioning.
And of course a BUNCH of other stuff. Also, consider how many different American Presidents have showed up in issues of The Amazing Spider-Man. Even if each president only served one term you have at least 28 years worth of presidents in only 10 years worth of stories... A bit problematic.
Originally I meant to rant on the fact that Peter Parker STILL can't find a REAL job?!?! However, after seeing how much he has going on in his rather busy life, perhaps I can better understand Parker's lack of steady employment and a real income.
Nonetheless, isn't Peter Parker supposed to be VERY intelligent? He's young, extremely fit, educated and has SUPER POWERS. Surely he could come up with a career that would fit even his busy life style! How about:
- High-rise window washer
- Spider-Man impersonator
- Male Model (Think about it. He's slim and can wear underwear in public. So why not get paid for it?)
- Private Detective
- Reporter
- Weather man (Eye-witness weather from the high places of new york)
- Traffic Jam clearer upper. (Who wouldn't appreciate that?)
- Attorney (Matt Murdock manages it... Course, that would mean law school.)
- Notary Public (okay... I'm reaching here.)
- Exterminator (this one could really work!)
- Web-courier (faster than a bike courier)
- Stunt-man (who would be better?)
- Bounty hunter
- Repo-man
- Author
Naturally, comic book time passes at a different rate than real-time, or at least a different rate than time in our universe. However, we know Peter Parker was 15 when he became Spider-man, and if we assume he's 25 now (I'm guessing) then we see that Spider-Man's career only spans about 10 years. Now think on that for a moment. TEN years...
In ten years Spider-man has (and this is only from my somewhat troubled memory) :
- Fought at least 114 villains (Most of them he has fought multiple times)
- Fought in 3 secret wars (Beyonder 1 and 2, Nick Fury)
- Fought on both sides of a civil war
- Helped fight off an alien invasion of earth
- Helped overthrow the Osborn dynasty
- Been a member of two Avenger teams
- Teamed up with more super heroes than anyone except maybe Wolverine whose real power is to know everyone in the marvel universe.
- Been cloned I don't know how many times
- Mutated to a state in which he had six arms
- Turned into a giant spider
- Had a symbiont for a uniform
- Had a symbiont for an enemy
- Had a symbiont's offspring for an enemy
- Had the ability to shoot webs from his body
- Lost the ability to shoot webs from his body
- Been framed for murder
- Been dead (although I'm still fuzzy on this one)
- Been buried alive, bathed in acid, shot, had an eye eaten (Morlun),
- Saved a gagillion lives (give or take)
- Graduated from high school
- Graduated from college (Chemistry? COME ON!!! Even ' I ' have a degree in chemistry, Spider-Man can do better than that!)
- Attended graduate school for a while
- Suffered the death of a girl friend (which he unfortunately had a hand in. That sucks beyond description.)
- Been Married
- Almost became a father (M.J. was pregnant at the time of that horrid...you know...)
- Had his marriage erased (in that horrid...you know...)
- Suffered the loss of friends and loved ones that actually did NOT come back to life (contrary to the Marvel norm.)
- Witnessed the marriage of his Aunt to the father of his arch enemy (yes, the father of J. Jonah Jameson)
- Suffered the conversion of his Aunt May Parker into ANTI-May Parker (Clever pun intended.)
- Please note I was classy enough not to mention his having sex with The Black-Cat which I can't help but feel bears mentioning.
And of course a BUNCH of other stuff. Also, consider how many different American Presidents have showed up in issues of The Amazing Spider-Man. Even if each president only served one term you have at least 28 years worth of presidents in only 10 years worth of stories... A bit problematic.
Originally I meant to rant on the fact that Peter Parker STILL can't find a REAL job?!?! However, after seeing how much he has going on in his rather busy life, perhaps I can better understand Parker's lack of steady employment and a real income.
Nonetheless, isn't Peter Parker supposed to be VERY intelligent? He's young, extremely fit, educated and has SUPER POWERS. Surely he could come up with a career that would fit even his busy life style! How about:
- High-rise window washer
- Spider-Man impersonator
- Male Model (Think about it. He's slim and can wear underwear in public. So why not get paid for it?)
- Private Detective
- Reporter
- Weather man (Eye-witness weather from the high places of new york)
- Traffic Jam clearer upper. (Who wouldn't appreciate that?)
- Attorney (Matt Murdock manages it... Course, that would mean law school.)
- Notary Public (okay... I'm reaching here.)
- Exterminator (this one could really work!)
- Web-courier (faster than a bike courier)
- Stunt-man (who would be better?)
- Bounty hunter
- Repo-man
- Author
- My Adventures with Wolverine
- My Adventures with the Fantastic-Four
- That time I defeated Fire-lord
- Inter-Species Mating - Just Say No
